The Dark Side Of Donkey Kong Revealed

The Dark Side Of Donkey Kong Revealed

Poorly timed get-rich-quick schemes and emotional abuse aren't Cranky Kong's only sins. As revealed in the German magazine Club Nintendo, he's also a philanderer. There's already something unspeakably sad about Cranky's wife, Wrinkly Kong—at some point between Donkey Kong Country 3 and Donkey Kong 64, Wrinkly dies and returns as a benevolent ghost—and Cranky's spontaneous infidelity ends up making her one of the most tragic characters in the entire Donkey Kong canon. 

The action goes down in Donkey Kong in: Banana Day 24, a six-page comic that appeared in Germany's Club Nintendo magazine. As a whole, Banana Day 24 is hard to follow (especially if you don't speak German). On the first page, the Kong family is hanging out in the jungle on Christmas Eve and enjoying a banana feast, but over the course of the story the Kongs are trapped in a snowstorm, travel from Africa to the White House, head into space where they give bananas to giant, blue, Kong-like aliens, and go back home. Then, Santa and Rudolph arrive. 

None of that matters. The key moment happens in the second-to-last panel, when a triumphant Cranky returns to Earth and plants a kiss on an unsuspecting and clearly disgusted human. Two panels later, as the story winds up, Cranky and Wrinkly argue in the background, as the Kong matriarch clearly disapproves of her husband's wayward affections.

(For what it's worth, it looks like infidelity runs in the family. At the same time Cranky goes in for a smooch, a pretty blonde plants one on Diddy Kong's cheek. Oddly, while Diddy's girlfriend Dixie is standing right next to him, she doesn't seem to mind.)


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The Dark Side Of Donkey Kong Revealed